ExLover is Dead
by falendoyle
Summary: There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be braveYou were what I wantedI gave what I gaveI'm not sorry I met youI'm not sorry it's overI'm not sorry there's nothing to say...
1. Bullet Holes Are Better Than Tattoos

Author: Emme (falendoyle)  
Rating: PG to NC-17

Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to The-N. So, I own nothing and I don't get anything.  
Pairing: Wouldn't you like to know 

Note: Okay, everyone has their own Spyla/Spashley thing going on and I don't see any updates. Soooo, I need to feed myself with this goodness. So, I made my own. I hope that you guys like it. I know that I might not update everyday, but please now that I plan on updating at LEAST twice a week. But it all depends on the feedback.

This takes place after Season Two.

Feedback: Tell me what you think and any suggestions of where I can take this. This makes me want to right more and even quicker. I can update multiple times…it just depends on how much you feed me. Mostly I am saying…FEEDBACKMORE UPDATES. Oh, and I can call out lurkers. I'm not afraid to. lol

Chapter One

Bullets Holes are Better than Tattoos

The heart monitor beeped quietly in the background of Spencer's thoughts as she sat up in the comfort of her own bed. She was silently tapping away at her keyboard that was placed in her lap onto of a pillow. The girl looked better. The last two months of relaxation and healing had helped the wounded girl tremendously. Instead of the pale, blotchy skin that she had once displayed in the hospital, she had bright, color to her skin. Her cheeks were a rosy color as she read over an email. She had the covers pulled up over her legs. The other half of her body had a blue large t-shirt draped over it. There were a couple wires going down into the shirt that stuck to the skin over her heart.

Each beeping noise that the monitor made causes a feeling a relief to flow through Paula's body. She stood in the doorway of Spencer's bedroom unseen. She watched lovingly and caringly at the living young girl. It has only been a month since the girl had gotten home from the hospital, and it was only twenty four hours til the girl was going back to the place that had caused so much damage to her family.

She would have never known that this would happen. The night was so great. Her three beautiful children had left all together with their dates for a wonderful evening. It had gone dramatically wrong. She was told that bullets where flying everywhere and that you must have been lucky to not have been hit. All three of her children had taken a bullet to the body.

Glen, a heroic young boy, took a bullet in the back to save his date. He had done something so selfish that made Paula truly proud of the boy. He was only in the hospital for a week. The bullet had not hit any major organs, and he was a quick healer. This time, though, he stuck through all the pain. In fear that he would get addicted again, he refused any kind of narcotics and pain medication except IB Profin and whatever else the holistic adviser suggested. Glen had truly matured and changed over the last two months. Either it was helping out at the hospital, helping Spencer, or even Chelsea. He had grown up in a matter of a short time.

Her other two children, her youngest children, had not been so lucky.

Spencer had a bullet hole traveling from her chest, to her heart, and leaving through her back. She had lost so much blood when the ambulance arrived and when she made it into the hospital they had lost her four times. She was in need of an emergency heart transplant or she would have died.

Clay had a bullet traveling from his forehead, through his skull, and lodged into his brain. The whole scene was horrific, like it was out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre or the Hills Have Eyes. He was still breathing when he entered the hospital. It was a combination of Chelsea giving the doomed boy CPR and the paramedics doing the same. He died four minutes entering the hospital.

Clay's id read donor.

Spencer needed a heart.

Some kid needed a lung.

And millions of other people probably needed something else.

He was a match for Spencer. The same blood type and match.

An emergency heart transplant was made.

One of her children died to save another. She would never see him graduate, never see him in college, become the father that she knew he would have been great doing, or even see him marry. She thanked him though. If it wasn't for him, two of her babies would have been dead. Gone, leaving her alone and unloved and useless.

She used to blame herself, and maybe she still did. They hadn't known any of this had happen until five hours later. They had ignored all the phone calls that had the phones ringing off the hook. Her and Arthur was too consumed in themselves to pay any attention. It was around four a.m. when someone came banging on the door. It was Kyla coming to tell them that there had been a shooting. She knew no information about the kids, because they wouldn't let her in. She told them they needed to hurry. The two didn't care about their car, Kyla had the taxi waiting and it took no time to arrive back at the hospital. The doctors thought it was best they didn't see Clay. Spencer was still in surgery, so they couldn't see her. So, they stayed in Glen's room, worried and sick. Kyla had waited in there with them, telling them all she knew.

"Mom," Spencer said from her bed staring at her mother.

Paula stepped out of her thoughts and placed a smile on her face. She walked into the teenager's room and gingerly took a seat on her bed. "Sorry honey, I was thinking."

Spencer smiled at her mother, knowing that she got like this sometimes. The family therapy has helped a little, but it was still hard going through each day. Paula spoke again, "So, who are you writing?"

Spencer pressed the 'send' button on the screen and moved the warm laptop off her lap. "Oh, it was just Kyla. She just got back today and was telling me that her flight went okay."

Paula nodded her head, glad that her daughter had someone to talk to. Of course, she had Chelsea, Madison, but it was nice that she had someone who she could confine in wholly. Paula had no clue what happened between Spencer and Ashley, and mostly the mother didn't care. Spencer wouldn't speak to her about it; no one would speak to her about it. The older sister had tried coming to see the wounded girl a week after the shooting. Spencer hadn't fully awakened, but Kyla wouldn't let the older sister in. When Paula asked why, Kyla simply replied that it wouldn't help Spencer heal.

A week before Spencer got out of the hospital the younger Davies, now Spencer's good friend, had to leave to go to spend the rest of her summer in Baltimore. Still, both girls had talked constantly. The good thing about Kyla, while apart from a number of good things about the girl, was that she wasn't trying to turn her daughter gay. The straight girl was good for Spencer. Paula hoped that her 'straightness' would rub off onto Spencer.

Paula spoke, "So, how was her summer?"

Spencer replied, "Apart from the millions of emails Aiden sent her, she said it was good."

"Speaking of Aiden, have you spoken to him?"

Spencer cocked an eyebrow at her mother, "Uhh…nope."

"Why not? I thought you and him where friends."

"I haven't spoken to him since that night."

"Does this have something to do with why you're not talking to Ashley either? She has been calling."

"It's complicated mom," Spencer said trying to leave it there.

"Well, it's a good thing I think," Paula said getting up from her daughter's bed and receiving a dirty look from her. She smiled at her daughter and kissed her on her forehead. "Maybe I, you, and Chels can have girl's night tonight."

Spencer rolled her eyes at her mother, "Yeah, mom, we can. Oh! Is she still sleeping? Cause I wanted to hear Areona's heartbeat again. You know we can do that? Put the heart monitor on her stomach and hear the baby's heart beating."

"Really? I never thought of that, I'll go see if she's awake." 

With that Paula walked out of her daughter's room. Her heart was falling at the mention of her future granddaughter. The little girl will never know the love of her father. Chelsea was now living in Clay's old room. Arthur and Paula thought it was a good idea since her parents had kicked the girl out. They told their 'daughter' that she and the baby can stay here as long as she needs too. She had already decided to go to USC for college after her Sr. year. She felt like she belonged with them.

She took one last look at her daughter who had her head leaned about against a pillow. She knew the girl was trying to mentally prepare herself for the next day.

She sat the large suitcase in the middle of her floor. The plane ride was long and boring for the girl. She had first class tickets, but being stuck next to an old woman who talked only about her twelve cats wasn't Kyla's idea of first class. Half way though the trip her iPod went dead and she didn't have a cord. It was pure hell.

The young girl was putting her stuff up when the older Davies girl walked into her room. Although the stuff that had happened at Prom, they made a pact that it shouldn't ruin their new found relationship. Unlike Kyla, Ashley didn't go unharmed. The bullet that had went though Spencer's chest had lodged itself in her left arm. It was a simple surgery to get it out, and she was out of the hospital a week later. Now, where the bullet had been a perfect circular scar was there in its place, a reminder of that night. Who needed a tattoo to forever remember your high school love when you have a perfect scar from the bullet that had almost killed her? Ashley swore that she could feel the tiny remains of Spencer's blood coursing through her body.

"Hey little sister, looks like you back." Ashley said getting the young girl's attention.

Kyla jumped in shock. She quickly turned but soon took her sister in a tight embrace. Both girl missing the other's company. They pulled apart and looked the other up and down; seeing if there was any type of change that could be noticeable.

Ashley hadn't changed much. Her hair was longer, and darker from since Kyla had last saw her. She had it down and in a light curl with a thin headband keeping it out of her face. She wore a tank and some boy shorts. Her arm was not in a sling anymore. Now the only remains were the scar. Kyla looked as if she matured over the last month. Her hair was a couple inches longer. She wore more upbeat and stylish clothing instead of the preppy look she sported a couple months ago. Both girls wore stylish black framed glasses creating a frame on their eyes.

Kyla stood up and smiled at the girl, "Yeah, well, I guess I missed you."

Ashley hit her shoulder, "Hey, I'm trying to be nice."

Kyla laughed, "Sorry. Anyway, how was you break?"

Ashley shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I haven't talked to Spencer. Aiden left to see family somewhere in the middle east, and you was gone. So, mostly it was boring. Mom dragged me to France for two weeks for the Cannes Film shit."

Kyla chuckeld, "Wow, where has the life of Ashley Davies gone?"

Ashley said, "I have no idea."

There was a smooth quietness for a moment before Ashley spoke up, "Anyway, the real reason I am here is because I need to borrow a top for tomorrow."

Kyla looked at her, "Uhh…sure…why?"

Ashley began to open her suitcase and go through her. "I need to look hawt, spelled with a w because I'm going to get my girl back."

Kyla cocked an eyebrow at her sister. An unknown feeling was whelming up in her body. She couldn't figure out what it was but she knew that she didn't want Ashley trying to get with Spencer again. Kyla felt the need to protect the girl. She felt like she should shield the girl from hurt. "Umm…you know that it will take more than an outfit right?"

"Yeah"

"Do you really think she will go back to you?"

"Yeah."

"I mean, you did hurt her."

"Yeah, I know, and I regret it."

"Why won't you go after someone else?"

"Why do you care?"

Kyla was silent. She looked down at her hand. She cared because Spencer was her friend. That was the only reason why…

Then why does she have the sudden urge to tell Ashley to back off?

So…should I continue?

Oh, and please give me some song suggestions so i can be inspired.


	2. Are You Really Ready?

Chapter two

Are You b**Really**/b Ready?

Spencer sat quietly in the backseat with her headphones in her ears. She felt the comfort that Muse gave to her every time she had listened to them. She couldn't remember who had turned her on to them; Kyla or Ashley. She had been staying over at Ashley's one night before the whole ordeal. Ashley, Kyla, and her was sprawled across Ashley's bed listening to music and discussing it. That was when she was introduced to the British Alternative band. The music had created a comfortable and secure feeling throughout her body every time she has them playing. This is exactly what she needed to help her prepare for b**this**/b day.

She watched different house pass quickly by her as the car sped down the street. They were getting closer and closer to their destination. There was no turning back.

She was going back to the place that had caused her family so much heartache. They place that still had her hooked up to so many machines that she depended on to live. She played with the IV cord that was still connected to her body. The little cord that won't be able to take out until her body was fully capable of working on its on. The thin, short tube called the central line started at the incove of her arm and only came down to her wrist. It was short and easy to hide, but she played with it when she was nervous.

She knew the main reason she didn't want to be back here was because she didn't want to have any flashback of that gruesome night. She would remember all the details of the argument, the gun shots, the feeling of extreme loss. That night, the night that was supposed to be the best night in her life, was the complete opposite. It was a night of disappointment, fear, and complete loss. She knew that it wasn't only for her. She knew that night affected everyone there in some sort of way. That night had created a snowball effect in her life. It started out with Ashley hesitating, then the shooting, then Clay dying and her getting his heart…it just continued to get worse. She hoped that it would all turn around. That maybe, just maybe, a miracle would happen and everything would just go back to normal.

"Spencer…Spencer…Spencer!"

Spencer shook her head clean of her thoughts and took out one of the earpieces. She noticed the car had stopped, and her mother was telling her that they are there. She smiled at the older but still beautiful women. Paula had parked the car in the parking lot next to someone's Escalade. Paula unbuckled her belt and turned so she was facing both girls. She let a soft and gentle smile cross her face. She wanted the girls to be relaxed and ready to take on this demanding day.

"Okay, you both have your cells on you right?" Paula asked both of the girls and receiving nods in reply. "Good, if you need anything at all just give me a call. I will rush over here and pick you up. If it becomes too stressful, you feel sick, or you just want to come home. I will be here, no questions asked. Okay?"

Spencer was amazed at how more loving her mother had become due to this whole situation. Spencer and Chelsea had become her little girl's who she could care for and take care of. Spencer once tried to figure it out why she acted this way a couple weeks ago, but she understood that the reason was probably because Paula needed that maternal since of self. She needed to feel like a good mother again. She wanted to keep her children as close as she could as long as reasonably possible. Loosing one child can have a major effect on a mother. The affect it had on Paula was a since of realization.

"Okay mum we will." Spencer said smiling at the woman.

"Good. Now, Spencer, did you take your meds this morning."

"Yes."

"Did you fix your IV comfortably?"

"Yes."

"Did you grab your pill container for today? I already informed the nurse that it was crucial for you to carry it around for yourself because you didn't need the stress of having to walk to the health office twenty times a day."

"I got the pills."

"Okay, do you have your monitor on?"

"Yup, I got it on. I hooked it up right, I have all the doctors numbers programmed in my cell, I have my V water (vitamin water), I have my lunch…Oh and I have some gum also if you were to ask."

"Spencer, I just want to make sure you have everything."

"I know mum, I got it. Thanks"

Paula looked at Chelsea, "You have everything also?"

"Yes, ma'am, I got everything. I am okay."

Paula smiled at both girls, "Okay, you girls have a good day and stay close to each other. I love you two so much." Her eyes began to water, emotions filling Paula quickly.

"Love you mum."

"Love you Paula"

Spencer and Chelsea hurried out of the car and shut the doors before walking off as quickly as they could. Spencer sort of wished she could drive, but the condition she was in couldn't allow it. Her heart could stop, or she could pass out. It wasn't the best choice if she drove. Chelsea couldn't drive because Paula thought is wouldn't be a good idea for her to drive in the last couple months of her pregnancy. It would have made it easier though.

They took the journey to find the Ceramics class they both shared. Spencer kept looking around the hallways on their way there. Making sure that she wasn't going to be bumping into anyone she wanted to ignore. She turned her attention back to Chelsea who had a blank look on her face.

"What's on your mind?" Spencer asked the young woman.

"I'm trying to figure out the best way to go so that we don't have to walk by that i_spot/i_ anytime soon."

"Yeah, that would be for the best."

"Why are you so twitchy?"

Spencer chuckled, "I'm trying to be conspicuous."

"Oh, you don't want to bump into her do you?"

Spencer shook her head no.

"I get that a little. But at least you look mighty hot today. So, if she does see you she will have a good idea that she is a fucking bitch for loosing you!" Chelsea said complementing Spencer which causes a small smile to appear on Spencer's pouty lips. Spencer unconsciously looks down at what she is wearing. She had picked out a pair of faded low cut, hip hugging jeans. They fit snuggly against her body. She had a white tank on with and a studded belt. She wore her signature Chucks and a Dickies zip up hoodie that helped hide her line. Still, you could see the small, rectangle heart monitor on her hip and the wires up along her shirt.

"Thank you," Spencer said quietly.

They stopped at the door of the class room. The August breeze softly blew on them and they enjoyed it for the millisecond that they could. Casually both girls walked into the classroom and took a seat in the far left group table. They sat there for a couple minutes in silence. The room was slowly filling up with kids. There was less kids that went here then last year. Spencer didn't know if it was because most of them got shot or that most of them was too scared to come to this school. Either way, it left a lot of seats unfilled.

"Oh My God, Spencer!" Kyla said from the door with a huge smile on her face. She quickly walked over to the blond and took a seat in front of her. The young girl still had her eccentric and giddy attitude to her. She smiled at Spencer and let her eyes graze over her.

"Hey Kyla," Chelsea said sitting diagonally across from the girl. She noticed the concerned and caring look the young woman had given to Spencer. The look she had seen the girl give her many times when she was in the hospital. The same look that had went unnoticed by the blond.

"Hey Ky," Spencer said smiling at the girl. She was happy to see her. She had honestly missed the girl. She had missed having someone outside her immediate family.

"How was your summer?" She asked Kyla.

"It was great going back to see my mum and family, but I most defiantly missed L.A. and all my friends here."

"We missed you to."

"How about you?"

"Stuck in bed for the past month trying to heal."

"Aww, well we will hang after school and get you out of the bed…or…umm…How about you Chelsea?" The brunette asked the girl. Spencer looked at Kyla with intensity. She had changed a little bit. Of course her natural eccentric and spazzy nature was the same, but she seemed a little more matured and older. Spencer didn't know if it was the black framed glasses she wore, or if she actually grew up even more.

Spencer's thoughts were pulled away from her when she glanced over at the door.

Her heart skipped a beat.

Ashley casually walked through the door of the classroom. She looked more radiant then Spencer had remembered. The sun casted a glow on her sun kissed skin and made her look even more heavenly. Spencer had always thought as Ashley as the sun. She could simply brighten Spencer's day, but she could also burn it away just as easy. Ashley had worn a light blue mini skirt with a studded belt, a tight fitting rocker tank that showed off her beautiful arms. The older girl had black flip flops on and her hair long and flowing. She held onto a kaki material messenger bag and was straightening her glasses. Both the Davies girls was wearing black framed glasses. Ashley's a little more stylish and fashionable. Spencer couldn't take her eyes of the offending girl.

The look didn't go unnoticed by the older girl who had glanced over in her direction. She knew that Spencer had this class. In fact, she knew that she had five of seven classes with the blond. Last year they had chosen the same schedule together and got back the results congratulating them on being in most of the same classes.

Spencer saw the girl walking toward their table. She advert her eyes down to her hands as she felt her breathing began to fasten. She didn't want to see the girl right now. Even though she knew should would have to see her, didn't mean she wanted to.

"Hello," Ashley said taking a seat.

The table was silent. Spencer kept her eyes down on her hands. Chelsea just stared at Ashley with a cocked eyebrow. Kyla didn't want to pick sides, so she just looked away.

Ashley looked at Spencer who looked so small and tiny. Her heart broke looking at the blonde. Discouragement was filling her body and she didn't know what could make her go back to her confident self. She needed to get this girl back; she needed to let her know she loved her.

"Welcome back, class."

Ashley looked up at the teacher. Her face still held the courage and strength that she wished she had inside. She knew that this would be hard trying to get Spencer back, but she needed her.

Spencer let her eyes wonder to the brunette who had her attention focused on the teacher. Spencer knew that her heart was telling her…but her mind was focused on something else….


End file.
